Say No Today!
In
today’s First Reading, Paul writes a letter to Titus, the person in
charge of the Church in Crete, and counsels him on the virtues necessary
to pastor God’s flock. Read Paul’s recommendations: “Bid the older men
to be temperate, serious… Bid the older women likewise to be reverent in
behavior, not to be slanderers or slaves to drink… to be sensible,
chaste… Likewise urge the younger men to control themselves.”
If there’s one word that can summarize the list of virtues Paul recommends, it is the word “no.”
“No”
today is a not a very attractive word. In a world that puts an
exaggerated premium on freedom, self-expression and spontaneity, “no” is
oftentimes perceived as an impediment to individuality. Some modern
schools of psychology even counsel young parents to always give in to
growing children’s every whim and likes, lest they grow up full of
resentment and “stunted” in their growth potentials.
How
different this is in the world I grew up in. In our household, my
parents’ rearing principle has always been, “If you want children to
grow up with their feet on the ground, never hesitate to put weight on
their shoulders.”
The
modern-day man wants to be free and rightly so. But our idea of freedom
is saying “yes” or giving in to whoever, whatever and whenever.
Paradoxically, the modern day value of freedom that we espouse can only
be achieved when we train ourselves to say “no.” “No” is actually the
indispensable partner of “yes.” One can only genuinely say “yes” to
something when one has the equal capacity to say “no.” If one cannot say
“no,” one is actually not free. Self-mastery is the fruit of
periodically saying “no” even to things that are inherently good.
Self-mastery is
what characterizes our humanity. Fr. Joel Jason
REFLECTION QUESTION: Are temperance and self-denial a regular part of your daily self-training?
Bless
my resolve, O Lord, to be master of my wants, impulses and desires.
Help me claim the dignity of the humanity You gifted me with. Amen.
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